On Dreams

Last night, I had another dream about my old summer camp. Sometimes I'm a kid again, staying there for one last summer. Sometimes I'm an adult, just visiting and seeing how the place is doing. Sometimes I'm an adult, brought back after years of being away for a job on camp. Teaching and working at the camp was always one of my favourite dreams, I sometimes wonder if I got my interest in teaching specifically because it gave me two months off during the summer. I remember so much of it so clearly, the leaders, the campers, the way your understanding of the layout waxes and wanes as you move from one Division one year to another, the subtle way the leaders called the rest of the year "the off season."

I sobbed uncontrollably for three days when I realized I wasn't being asked to come back as a Leader the next year. I can't say it was much of a surprise to anyone, I was a moody, cantankerous, overweight, iconoclastic loner there. I wasn't remotely ready or even cognizant of the responsibility that came with my dream. I doubt I'm ready now to be around children 24/7. Still, at the time I could not imagine doing anything else with my life. I felt like I had been thrown out of heaven.