Joe Pesci called.

He called to tell me that he doesn't know why the UPS driver was unable to ring my doorbell and deliver my package. He called to tell me that he doesn't know why the UPS driver was unable to leave the "unable to deliver your package note". At least UPS was able to tell me that my $500 anniversary gift (or was it a Chanukah gift?) wasn't simply left on the street for the neighbors to steal like when they stole, watched, and then returned my Netflick this past week.