To whom it may concern

Dear Governor Patrick, Mayor Menino, et al:

Yesterday, you proved that terrorists do not need bombs to shut down the city of Boston. Yesterday, you proved that terrorists do not need guns, knives, or boxcutters to shut down the city of Boston. Yesterday, you proved that terrorists need not even exist to shut down the city of Boston.

Yesterday, you committed an act of terrorism.

Unhallowed University AGMs

Do you like being helpful? Do you like to assist? Do you yearn to aid and abet? Would you enjoy playing characters that are easily baffled, bamboozled, beaten, befuddled, beguiled, bewildered, and bewitched? Do you like wearing different hats to facilitate latent productivity and leverage potential synergies? Then Unhallowed University wants you!!! Careers await in the exciting job of Assistant GM, where you will be given the opportunity to relinquish your free will to that of the GMs and place yourself in such enviable roles as: Nameless Police Officer (Cannon Fodder), Hapless Lab Assistant (Ablative Armor), and Mindless Rampaging Horror (Colorful Native). Our Medical and Dental Plans are the best in the business!

Ballyhoo Industries is looking for Assistant Game Masters to facilitate generation and operation of basic game mechanics, portrayal of occasional NPCs, and facilitation of Game Master monitoring of game progress for our upcoming run of Unhallowed University on Friday, March 2nd, from 8 PM to Midnight at Intercon G.

Please contact BallyhooIndustries 'at' gmail 'dott' com today. Don't hesitate, available positions are going fast!

"We have met the enemy, and he is us." - Pogo