Queen's Meadhall

[etherial]

The Queen gave me her favor today. You have to understand, Queens do this to people all the time. They hand these things out by the bucket all summer long. But I couldn't accept one handed out like that, because I' weird. Because I'm a sap. Because I think things should mean things, and sometimes what I think they mean is incompatible with what other people think they mean.

And the thing that means the most to me? The nicest thing anybody can do for me? It's to tell me that I'm wanted. That my presence is not merely tolerated, but appreciated. I don't really have the grammar to explain this. I know how to be happy on my own, and to be happy among friends, but I've been burned very deeply a number of times, and I just don't trust that it won't happen again. I am always on the lookout for signs that someone is simply putting up with me. And today, completely unbidden, Thyra sent someone to the Royal Room so she could give me her favor. I am overwhelmed.

I'm very tempted to block comments on this post, because I fear that someone will reply with "But I appreciate you!". I will risk someone completely missing the point in favor of having the opportunity to discuss this.

Comments

[lil-laurel.livejournal.com]

That sounds really cool. Congrats.

And "I am always on the lookout for signs that someone is simply putting up with me."? So much this.

[albreda.livejournal.com]

Having seen you right after She gave it to you, I know how thrilled you were. I like seeing Her best when she is smiling and dancing, and I think you were partially responsible for that smile as you danced with Her, so I thank you as well. :)

[etherial.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's a dance we've taught together. It's frickin' hard, too!

[be-well-lowell.livejournal.com]

Just bear in mind the standard you're raising here. Don't let people be scared of complimenting you for positive but less-than-earthshaking efforts. You deserve to enjoy low-key thanks for the lesser stuff you do all the time, like you did for me today. Over time (if necessary, think of it as an integral), these things are what I think establish the best people in the community.

[etherial.livejournal.com]

Heh. Feel free to compliment me any time except for this post -- I neither want to appear like I'm fishing for compliments nor do I want to be second-guessing any more than I naturally do.