*QP

[etherial]

The amount of work I have put into my projects is infuriatingly small. I fear two terrible fates, and I don't know which is worse. On the one hand, I may continue with this level of effort through the end of C-Term, earning grades and CDRs and doing an injustice to the whole learning process. What then can I expect for any career I may lead? Will I find much the same empitness of value? That any tiny amount of work, with a good cover story, will be rewarded as equally as giving my all? What motivation is there to put in effort when honeyed words work just as well.

On the other side of the coin is the possibility that sooner or later my line of bull will fail in school. And what will happen to me then? Will I fail my projects and have to start anew with funds I don't have? Will my grades plummet and such action be threattened with the chance to redeem myself? Will I be capable of doing so?

I feel like an Astronaut on an expedition to the sun, meeting failure of one kind or another regardless of success. Or is that the point?