Stretched

[etherial]

I haven't felt this bad since high school. The constant feeling of loneliness is really getting to me. I'm even more desperate for someone, but the returned feelings I crave are reaching for biblical proportions. I don't laugh anymore. I don't mean chuckling, smiling, or grinning, I mean things just aren't funny. Life is so gray.

I've always felt like I was trapped inside a balloon. Everyone could see and interact with the exterior of the prison, but no one seems to understand that I'm inside. I can't *feel* you. I know, in my head, that people care about me, that my parents love me, that my friends are actually my friends. But I don't feel it. No matter how hard they tell me or hug me, the feeling is only skin deep.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

hi greg, you were actually on im and it had this little livejournal link. like everyone i know is into this livejournal thing. I thought about it but have yet to commit. It seems like something i would have done had i thought of it before everyone else. Nonetheless, I'm sorry you are the saddest little puppy. I've only read the most recent entry so i don't know if you are always the saddest little puppy or just recently. I have just emerged from my semester of depression - something I suppose everyone must do. In the end I thought it was kind of fun. Being depressed is oddly comforting. But I don't think I'd make it a lifestyle choice. I really want some mentos. I was in a mobile mart the other day and this homeless guy stole mentos. And since then all I've wanted was mentos. Like a lot. But I haven't been able to get them. I will try once again today to do so. When I do I will be very happy. I wish Mentos had fortunes like fortune cookies (i had chocolate covered fortune cookies yesterday - yum). I don't mean like one fortune per each chewy bite, but one per package. It might be a problem if you share. i think fortunes are probably null if you share. It just seems like it would be that way. Nonethess, hi, I'll be home in a week and although we haven't seen in each other in quite some forever perhaps we should. Because i dunno why I have to go home or what i am going to do there. But I have a very cozy bed at home and I like sleeping. But other than that, I don't have much in the way of plans.

-Alison