Dreams

[etherial]

I had another "reconciliation with tpau" dream last night. At least this one was more realistic than the others. While it did have hand-holding, hugging, and kissing, it also had crying and yelling. Every day, not being with her breaks my heart, and every time I see her, it shatters me. This doesn't really come as any surprise to me, though. I walk through life feeling as though everyone's heart burns like a bonfire, except mine. Mine burns like the sun.

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[princess-muffin.livejournal.com]

"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, for they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

"Don't waste the pretty." He's Just Not That Into You

"Why would you wanna dance with someone who doesn't wanna dance with you?" The Wedding Singer

"You'll never find The Right One if you keep dragging The Wrong One around in your heart." (that's mostly my own philosophy)

Translation: You're better than the way you were treated. You DESERVE better than the way you were treated. The first step in finding someone who will love and respect you is to love and respect yourself, and that involves cutting loose the people who hurt you.

It's goddamn hard, and made harder by the fact that The Wrong One doesn't feel any remorse or bond of common human decency with you. You have to cut out your own heart, with no affirmation or encouragement or even acknowledgment (except from your awesome friends), while the offending party just dances merrily away.

The only consolations I have for you are: they're not fooling anybody about their integrity, not you, not your friends, not even themselves; and they're not getting away with anything, no matter how much they like to think they are. Nature is quite balanced - Newton's laws, Karma, Judgment Day, call it what you like - but the universe always evens the score in the end. Always.