Stretched

I haven't felt this bad since high school. The constant feeling of loneliness is really getting to me. I'm even more desperate for someone, but the returned feelings I crave are reaching for biblical proportions. I don't laugh anymore. I don't mean chuckling, smiling, or grinning, I mean things just aren't funny. Life is so gray.

I've always felt like I was trapped inside a balloon. Everyone could see and interact with the exterior of the prison, but no one seems to understand that I'm inside. I can't *feel* you. I know, in my head, that people care about me, that my parents love me, that my friends are actually my friends. But I don't feel it. No matter how hard they tell me or hug me, the feeling is only skin deep.